FILIPINO Olympic boxer Carlo Paalam has endured so much beating, bearing the brunt of countless heavy punches on his 5-foot-4 frame.
But Paalam is as tough as a rock. The fight for survival as a kid in Cagayan de Oro, where he collected scraps of metal to sell and get by, hardened him and became his armor against adversities in his personal life and career as a boxer where he achieved every athlete's dream — competing in the Olympics and winning a silver medal shining like gold in Tokyo three years ago.
But as the song goes, even the best fall down sometimes, even for someone who has been used to taking punches.
Paalam had no idea he would take a punch so bad that it would knock him out. Yes, He quit boxing.
'Knockout punch'
The "knockout punch" happened in the Paris Olympics' boxing qualifier First World Qualification Tournament men's 57 kg class in Busto Arsizio, Italy, on March 11.
During the second frame of his round of 16 bout against Turkmenistan's Shukur Ovezov, Paalam had to surrender due to a right shoulder injury he sustained in the preceding fight he won against Mexico's Andrey Bonilla, who slammed him on the canvas.
The two-time Southeast Asian Games champion couldn't continue as the pain of the injury was too much to bear.
The 26-year-old puglist got so frustrated that he didn't want to box in the Second Qualification Tournament in Bangkok, Thailand, in May anymore, he told Association of Boxing Alliances of the Philippines (ABAP) Secretary General Marcus Manalo.
"I've decided to no longer compete," Paalam shared to The Manila Times in Filipino, recalling what was easily the hardest phase in his boxing career.
One can imagine a gallant warrior in those movies, where he killed many of his foes but got wounded so badly, too, fighting for his dear life, unsure if he would survive the war. That was where Paalam found himself.
"I got disappointed with my injury because in a matter of weeks [the second qualification tournament will start], my shoulder was still swelling, and I couldn't move it. I've decided to have other guys compete," he said.
"I don't wanna watch [or do] boxing anymore. I got depressed, and I felt like I didn't wanna box anymore. I just wanted to take a break. I was thinking about my mental health because I felt depressed. I really regret not getting an Olympic berth in Italy because I wanted to qualify right away so I can just continue my training."
Noy wanting any noise, Paalam switched off his phone. Filled with doubts, he asked himself whether he could still do it.
"I really turned off my phone so that no one could disturb me. I really took the time to unwind. I was keen on going to the beach or the mountains, thinking, 'Can I still make it? How am I going to recover?'"
Slow way back
Encouragement came from former Cagayan de Oro mayor Oscar Moreno, whom Paalam was close to, his wife Shayne, and teammate and fellow Paris Games-bound Eumir Marcial.
Still, Paalam needed more than the 10-second count to get up.
Piece by piece, brick by brick, he rebuilt himself.
Paalam skipped a US training camp and decided to stay in Cagayan to be with his wife Shayne and daughter Celest, gauge his body and then attend therapy sessions in Baguio. His coaches Ronald Chavez and Elmer Panisa guided him in the tedious recovery process.
"My teammates and friends really encouraged me that nothing is impossible. And I told myself that I was going to get that Olympic slot. I may not be going to the US, but at least I made a wholehearted decision," recalled Paalam.
"I stayed, and so did my coach. I told him that let's just stay here, coach, and I'll do my best to recover and go to therapy because I was practically doing it myself, but the PTs (physical therapists) in Baguio were helping me. I may not be able to attend [all sessions] physically but at least I managed to do it through my phone."
The mental part, Paalam recalled, was the hardest in his recovery. He had to console himself every time he unleashed a punch because his right shoulder would ache.
"Even if it hurts or I'm traumatized because every time I punch, my injury stings. So I trained my brain to overcome it like, 'Hey, you're good; you can do it,' and I improved from there. I'm thankful to my teammates who helped me."
"The mental part is really huge because that's where you generate your perseverance to do the everyday things. There are people who don't believe in you, and you want to prove them wrong. That's where I was coming from. I said in my previous media interviews that I was going to get the slot. I can't promise, but I will do my best."
Second wind
Finding a second wind, Paalam, despite his injury, indeed got the Olympic slot in the Second Qualification Tournament in Bangkok.
The Asian Games bronze medalist won five straight bouts capped by a unanimous semifinal win over India's Sachin Sachin on June 1, securing his Paris Olympics entry as only the top three in the 57 kg class were going to the Games.
Looking back, Paalam said the injury was merely God's way of testing his mettle.
"I think it's really God's plan because he probably wanted to test me on how I was going to get tougher and stronger. I think it made me realize how the little things are actually big. You really have to pay attention to small details. I realized that you need to persevere because you're the one who will actually heal yourself. [Your mentality], not other people because you're the ones who really know what's going on with your body."
Scaling his mountain, Paalam, a University of Baguio standout, now shifts his attention to the Paris Olympics this July as he seeks to better his silver medal finish in Tokyo.
"I am getting goosebumps... I will give my best. My target this time is the gold medal. Winning bronze or silver is already difficult, but I am ready to do whatever it takes to accomplish my goal... which is the first spot."
Paalam said he was not going to the Olympics with the mindset that he's a two-time Olympian. For him, it's like he is back to zero like he hasn't won anything in the past. For him, he's like a predator looking to hunt down his prey. He's hungrier than ever.
"I'm not thinking of other people's expectations because they're not the ones boxing; I am. I have tunnel vision. I don't wanna hear or think about anything. I just want to focus. I don't consider myself a two-time Olympian," he said.
"For me, I'm like starting again, back to zero. I'm gonna show that this version of Carlo is different. I have the mindset of a hunter; I'm hunting. I'm targeting goals one game at a time. I'll show the 'silent operator' type."